One of my very romantic imagination made into film!

Well i'm not a really romantic person. Perhaps I could be! but I didn't have much experience being with a partner or been there in any romantic situation! But it is usual for girls ( at least me) to imagine romantic stuff when they were alone. Like the very sweet romantic walk during sunsets, candlelights dinner, sitting by a lake side during full moon and stary night and etc. Well this video was one of my very romantic imagination. i was taken back when I came across this scene while watching the twelveth episodes of Vampire Diaries season 2! It was such a beautiful scene. The sun, horses, on top of hills in your loved ones arms. Hmmm it just perfect. Look at chemistry they were in! It's lovely! I just can't help it but i'm keep on watching it again and again!

Collection of cute notes

Ø 
Dear Parents. Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. You can't blame us. We were taught to rebel since a young age.

Ø 
Yes... 
I'm a girl
I push doors that clearly say PULL
I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing.
I walk into a room and [forget] why I was there
I count on my fingers in math class
I try to accomplish things with time still on the microwave
I wish for Love every 11:11,
[I][Lie][Sometimes] to hide the pain 
I say its a long story when it's really not 
I fall in love too hard too fast
all I want is to kiss you in the rain
-YES-I'M-A-GIRL-
but thats more than it seems...

Ø 
Katy Perry shot fireworks from her chest which made Usher scream "OMG" so loud that Rihanna became mentally retarded and then walked around saying 'What's My Name.' Well, Willow Smith became so annoyed she threatened to Whip Her Hair at Rihanna if she didn't stop. So Bruno Mars got so mad he threw a grenade at her. But then Ke$ha, defending Willow, said We R Who We R! So they started fighting and everyone backed up, but Eminem came in, saying 'I'm Not Afraid' saving the world, then Nelly woke up and said, "Phew, it was just a dream!!" (: ☺

Ø 
Today my 7 year old cousin gave her 5 year old brother a kiss on the cheek. After she walked away, I saw him rubbing the spot where she had kissed him. I asked if he was wiping the kiss off. He said "no, I'm rubbing in it so it gets to my heart faste

Ø 
I am a girl. When I'm not around people I wear huge tshirts and sweatpants,no make up, dont brush my hair, i drink out of the orange juice carton, I watch random crap on TV...like if you're one of those girls who acts like a guy sometimes

Ø  12 year old boy: Hey dad, I got a girlfriend! Dad: Good for you boy, I'm proud of you! 17 year old girl: Hey dad, I got a boyfriend!!! :D Dad: Oh no you didn't **loads up shotgun**

Ø   
We're all going to feel like we're in love at some point, we're all going to have our hearts broken once. At some point, we'll feel like we want to die, and another time in our lives, we'll want to burst of happiness. We'll make new friends and forget our other friends. You'll feel like you've been ignored at one point, and like you have too much attention at another. We'll all have that day when we think we look fantastic and a day when we think that we are the ugliest thing in the world.
Life has it's ups and downs, but it's totally worth it in the end.

Ø    
Lost your pen = no pen 
No pen = no notes 
No notes = no study 
No study = Fail 
Fail = no diploma 
No diploma = no work 
No work = no money 
No money = no food 
No food = skinny 
Skinny = ugly 
Ugly = no love 
No love = no marriage 
No marriage = no children 
No children = alone 
Alone = depression 
Depression = sickness 
Sickness = death 

Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die ;) ====è I know it’s far fetch but like it though

And the romantic one! Very touchy

Ø 
True Love: A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a deserted road on a motorcycle...
GIRL: "Slow down, we're going to fast. I'm scared!"
BOY: "Come on, don't worry. I know what i'm doing, your having fun right?"
GIRL: "NO. Please stop. I'm really scared!!!"
BOY: "Then tell me you love me
GIRL: "I LOVE YOU! now please slow down."
BOY: "Give me a hug"
*GIRL HUGS HIM*
BOY" "can you help me out here? take my helmet off me and put it on you? it's bugging me".
In the paper the next day...A motorcycle has crashed into a building due to break failure. Two people found, but only one survived. TRUTH... halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know...instead he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant he would die...that's TRUE LOVE♥

My nEW yEar ResoLuTion LiSt - Hidden behind the meanings of these songs! ;)

 I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad

      buy all of the things I never had

Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
for when I’m a billionaire – PROSPEROUS

2.       G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

The glamorous, the glamorous, glamorous
By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy – LIFESTYLE

3.       Wing down, sweet chariot stop and, let me ride
hell yeah
Swing down, sweet chariot stop and, let me ride
with all the niggaz sayin
Swing down, sweet chariot stop and, let me ride
Hell yeah
Swing down, sweet chariot stop and, let me ride – CAR!!

4.      Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My lonliness ain’t killing me no more
I’m stronger   - ATTITUDE

5.       A Moment like this. 
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this. 
Some people search forever for that one special kiss. 
I cant believe its happening to me. 
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.  - LOVE

6.      I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world. –APPRECIATION

7.       We are the champions - my friends 
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - 
We are the champions - 
We are the champions 
No time for losers 
'Cause we are the champions - of the world – SUCCESS

8.       As we go on, we remember 
All the times we had together 
And as our lives change 
Come whatever, 
We will still be friends forever  - FRIENDS

9.       Keep it together in the family
They're a reminder of your history
Brothers and sisters they hold the key
To your heart and your soul
Don't forget that your family is gold – FAMILY

10  Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun
A new day has come - HOPE

5.       

Being Myself

I have been a sober for quite sometimes. It’s time for me to loosen up a bit and enjoy myself. Life has been a bit unfair for me especially in relationship. Not only in my love life but also in other relationship. I have lost faith in some of my friends and besties. I don’t know how I am going to manage it or overcome it. But the one thing i know and i need right now is time for myself. So buckle up Jay n rejoice the life u have.

I know it is somewhat hard for a person to buckle up from heart break and disappointments. But the more I spend my time on it the more I become depressed and the more I’m wasting my own time and energy. “You live only for once and once you miss this moment you won’t get it back”.  I’m very well informed about this fact. So I’m going to make a difference to my already dead life.

I try to trace back my source of happiness. Spend days and night to really learn about myself (it’s a worth the effort actually). I found my family is the main source of my happiness. I love being myself. And I only can be that without any boundaries when I’m with my family members. We have unique understandings of each other. It is such a small family my mum, sis, bro and me, we always complement each other very much.  And our relationship grew deeper and deeper with every incidence and events. I’m so happy about it.

My next happiness is through the bond I shared with my cousins. I love all of them very much. Too much affection for them. We grew up together. And when I mentioned cousin, all of them are very young to me. Indeed very very young from me. We shared the bond since we were kids. From reading stories to all sort of funny games you could ever think, we had did it before. The age is not a problem for us. Nowadays kids maturity is much more difference than last time. So I can mingle with them without any problems. And I decided that time that we not going to be cousins for the sake of name but true cousins whom connected through lots of love and affection. I was not sure about all this that time. But all the little effort that I made to keep us close with each other turn out to be very successful. Each of us knew that we are meant to be together.  And now I am having a lots fun with them. The only obstacle we had for all our plans last time is money. And since I’m working now, I’m sponsoring all the plans, literally. Hehe. And I’m enjoying doing that. The next thing we would really want to do is going to Genting Highland and have our own gala time. We really look towards it.

  (Picture of my cousins at my bro's 21 b'day party) - still some missing in action.

And the last but not least ( if i wanna talk abt all the things tht would make me happy, tht would be a never ending story ;)) thing that I do really wants to do is music. I had  passion for this since I was six or seven. Due to lack of facilities I can’t even think about it. That’s how all my passion for music just faded away. I was very sad. But now I have an opportunity to do it again. All by myself, with my own money and without any other obstacles. So I’m starting with instruments first. I want to learn guitar. Checked out few guitars, but haven’t crossed one that would make me fall for it. I want it to be perfect. Because it will definitely be something for me. And I’m very sure I will find it soon J

Hope that the directions I took will help me discover myself again and will give me a new hope and reason to live this life once again!

   ( one of my passion too : fashion ! me n my newly bought dress) :)

Haunting Past

People says past is a ghost. It always will haunt u. I did not believe it at that time. But when I had an ugly past, all this seems true. And the past that haunts me currently is my so-called- first-love. Ohwww what a memorable moments it should be!!  But nothing of that sort did happen!!! Somehow when I look back the days we were happy it would be only few days. Mostly either we will fight or it will be complete silence for months.

This is not the first time we fought. But this time it was different. Usually, when we fought I know somehow it will only be for few hours. But now, I have no hope. It was quite ugly. I feel betrayed; that my trust for him had crushed into pieces. I don’t know whether I will recover from this and be able to move on with my life. But the one thing for sure is that love is not a comfortable zone for me, not anymore.

I’m not an easy girl. I don’t know whether it’s because of my personality or it’s the upbringing of my mother. It took me a very long time to really trust a guy and fell for him. Even the guy I fell for is one my close friend whom I know for more than 10 years. I had a crush for him in my schooling time. But I was not really dare to confess or express my love. I thought we were too young for this.

So when I felt it was the correct moment, I said it out to him. Even that happened after I came to know that he also had crush on me. At beginning, it felts like you are in heaven. As though you met your soul mate and meant for each other. While I was flying high with the euphoria feeling somehow he felt a bit insecure. Previously he had been into few relationships. None of it ever worked out. So he felt that relationship is not meant for him. But somehow I tried my very best to convince him. I think he never really come out of that insecure feeling.

That was the main ground for all the fights we had. His insecurities and mine too. I felt that it was not fair. It is really not fair to take past relationship as precedence to start a new one. I’ve given my best. But he did not really see it. So I found out that all that i had ever done is pointless and hopeless. It aint doing anything good to the relationship. At some situation I know it seemed that I was in desperate condition.  And I know I can’t endure all this; suffer from all the hurts n etc. I quit it. I said it was over.

Months passed by. Things changed. Certain things took charge of me. I started to forget all these things and somehow move on. Suddenly, there were few circumstances brought us together; made us to meet each other. We share the same circles of friends. So any friend’s event or parties we tend to meet each other. It was awkward. We kept our relationship secret as we don’t want any havocs from our friends. So none of our friends ever knew about the things that had happened between us. That made the whole situation even worst.

But what worries me now is whether my decision to quit is correct or no. I see the pain in his eyes. And I know what he is going through for I am going through the same situation. Can I really trust my instinct? It failed me not once but twice. If what I felt for him is really true and strong, faith will brings us together. Or at least he will try to take chances to make this situation better. But if any of these things aint happening, then we were not meant to be with each other. All the things that I ever felt for him is only a infatuation!

Dissatisfied!

I have been quite busy till I have no bloody time for myself and also for my blog. My new job keeping me away from everything. The last thing I ever want in my life two weeks back was getting myself a proper job and settled down.

I went for few interviews. Mostly will succeed in the first interviews. They will say that they will call for the next interview and that’s it. U won’t get any answers or news from them. Is this one way to say NO to a successful first interviews candidates? At last, I got a decent job for myself. I was hired by a food company, AIM food manufacturing in Cheng, Melaka for Food Technologist position. Although it is not directly related to what I majored in, I was glad that it will somehow link back to biotechnology or sciences.

Happily started my job on 8^th November 2010. The first day, all the rules and rego was read to me. And they, made sure I truly understand all of them- literally. Then, came the discipline part. They looked at my nicely polished long nails n next minute I know there was a nail clipper right next to me. And they asked me to cut it all right at the moment!!! I was sooooo broken hearted. I know the last time I have seen my finger nails short was back in my primary school when I was in primary six. I have given no choice. It was part of HACCP for those who are working in food industry. Then came the second rule. UCANT WEAR ANY BLOODY PERFUME!!!!!! U gotta be kidding me!! What is a life for a girl without perfume? I don’t know about others. But I never leave the house without perfume. But now, for the job sake I’m doing it. While I’m trying to absorb all these rules in one day, there came the third rule. U CAN’T WEAR ANY ACCESSORIES. No earings, no chain, no hairclips and no nothing. 6 out of 7 days I have to be like this. What a life I’m having!!!! With all this, everyday I have to do overtime. So I’ll leave the house at 8am and will be back home at 8 or sometime 9 pm.

What I could do now? I have to go through this at least for 1 year, until I learnt all the skills and get a year experience. Then, I can apply for other company which is more fun working with. So for the moment I’m trying my best to adapt into this new environment and “fun-filling” working life.

                            

                                               

What a break......

It had been almost three months since I lastly wrote. Too busy or should I say I kept myself busy!!! Many events took place during this period of time. Part time job, few interviews in Multinational Company’s (MNC), break-up with my childhood love and my graduation. Detailed story will be up soon... J