Nausea

Argghhhh what a weird feeling from morning. I had a terrible night last night. One of my friends called around midnight. While we were chit chatting I stated to realize that I’m getting the symptoms of my worst disease, migraine. But how could it be possible. Cause, usually my migraine will be due to heat or stress. And there is no chance for such a situation. It has been raining for few days and it damn freezing here and I’m at house doing nothing except get enough rest while of course gaining getting more “healthier”. So is it due to the fact that I’m hanging in phone for about 20 minutes?

 Weird!! Well it is my worst migraine where I feel like banging my head on the wall or hammer it!! And after few minutes of taking my migraine pills – Ponstan-  I was so restless. And the next thing I know is I was at the toilet bowl vomiting everything that I had consumed throughout the night. I was light headed. And I know I really need to get enough sleep so that it will be better the next morning. And guess what? I’m still having the same restless feeling for the whole day. I was nauseating throughout the day. Luckily, my migraine had gone. But I just don’t know how to get rid of nausea.  Huhu...

Job job job

Let me tell you what my schedule everyday is starting from the moment I got up from my bed – oh wait after my breakfast will be more appropriate. Log on to my Jobstreet account to check updates regarding my job application. There are about 7-8 application to different types of job in my specialization which is biotechnology. 

Well the jobs are not that great. Usually it will be lab technician, lab assistant, sales consultant and etc. Usually my qualification will be about the requirements or sometimes I will be over qualified for the job. The one thing I will be lacking is the experience part. I know I’m still a fresh graduate. But it is not my fault for heaven sake. I was not given a chance to show what my abilities are or to gain any experience.  And there would not be any great changes in the job application status. Either it will be My Application:New or My Application:In Process or My Application:Under Consideration or My Application:Kept for Reference or the worst My Application: unsuccessful. 

So, clearly there is not much about what I had to do more. Usually what I’ll do is search for more vacancies and applies for it. And repeat the same thing every day. This has been going since I finished my third year studies dated 18 May 2010. And right at the moment I still haven’t get any positive reply. Now I wonder what the problem is. You see troubleshooting the problem is another problem. I never came across anyone who had a positive experience in job searching by using Jobstreet. That makes my judgement little wobbly. 

Talking about my academic qualification. Hhmmm it wasn’t that bad. Of course I did not get a first class or gold medal. But I think upper second class is way too better for that jobs that I applied which requires minimum STPM or Diploma qualification. So what is the problem now? My curricular activities??  I don’t think so. I have good record of participation in curricular activities starting from my secondary schools until university. And I have valid certificates to prove that.  So what is the problem now?  All this analysis leads me to a dead end!!

 I’m stuck now. And I’m still wondering what and where did I went wrong. If this is going continue in my future job application, definitely I’m going to call the companies to ask them directly the reasons for the rejection. I know it is kinda rude. But hey what other option do I have now other than this? All this makes me wonder whether the Jobstreet is really doing it’s job o no? Or all this is just a blanket by government to say “hey people we are doing our best to help our graduates get employed”.  –duh-.

Truth discovered- nothing is forever....

Here I am at the age of 23 years old, still wondering how many people do really knows me for who I am? How many people do really love and cares for me. All the relationship around me seems too tangible. As if it will slip away any time soon.

May be they have been using me as a ladder for them to get something from me. Or I’m just there as a gap filler in their life. And I got to know all this when I’m in midst of my life crisis. The experience or the feeling of being an unemployed person is the hardest thing one can live with. It is even worst when you have excelled in everything academically or in curriculum previously. It feels like this is the only failure - the whole unemployment thing- The people who were there around to cherish my victory were not here to share my only failure. I wonder what and where it went wrong.....

I’m building a wall around me now. It is just too painful to know what you have cherished all this while is vanishing slowly. I have to prepare myself to face the world alone. And now the only person I could ever trust and put a hope on is myself and only myself.

I know this is only a phase (bad phase I mean) that I have to go through for the moment. It will be gone soon and I will be back to my path to be a successful person. But the lesson I learned through this experience is just hard to digest. You are all alone by yourself. ~ I know I will get through everything~

TROUBLED LIFE

Life has been tough for me recently. It was true that people says you are in a honeymoon year throughout your studying period although you know you are going through hell of time. But here I am, after I had completed my degree still wondering what will be my next step. It will be whether I will work or continue my Master's study. The problem now is the road/ path in front of me is just too blur. I could not determine what is best for me. How I wish I could be in UNIMAS now continuing my 7th semester. No matter how hard I try  I know it won’t happen. I got to do something or break this whole sober stage. The jobstreet, jenjobs, nor monster is doing great in finding me a job. No matter how many jobs I applied the results will be the same. It is either my application will be kept for reference or it will be an unsuccessful application. I know I am qualified to do anything in my field which is Biotechnology. I know I had enough knowledge of it. So what if I don't have experience. I can learn. I'm still fresh so there is nothing that I can't do. And I don't mind taking new challenges. Even the greatest person need to take his/ her own first step. Now all I'm asking for is a chance. A chance to prove I am a worthy person and u did not make a wrong decision by choosing me.