Stupid Questions vs Brilliant Answers

Boy: May i hold your hand?

Girl:  No thanks, it isn’t heavy

Girl: Say u love me! Say u love me!

Boy: You love me

Girl: If we become engaged will you give a ring?

Boy: sure, wht’s  your phone number

Girl: i think the poorest people are the happiest.

Boy: then, marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple.

Girl: darling, i want to dance like this forever

Boy: Don’t you ever want to improve??

Boy: I love you and i could die for u!

Girl: How soon?

Nicole: have u ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?

Ash: i did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

Man: u remind me of sea.

Woman: because i’m wild, romantic and exciting?

Man: NO, u make me sick

Wife: u tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

Husband: you tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth

Sharon: john says im pretty. Peter says i’m ugly. Wht do u think Andy?

Andy: a bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.

Teacher: “what do u call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”

Pupil: “ a teacher”

The confusion in English language solved forever. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be official language of the Euro rather than German which was other possibility.

As a part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and had accepted a five year phase-in-plan that would be known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

In the third year, public akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of the silent “e”s in the language is disgraseful. And they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary”o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations  of letters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!