I glanced around and saw two couples exchanged their gifts of love, another were having lovely candle light dinner, the gifts shops and restaurants were decorated lovely and everywhere else you turn there was a sparks of love! But not in my direction. People only can view my sad, tired and exhausted face! Yesterday had been a hell of day for me! We were driving to Klang General Hospital. My brother met accident while on his way to Klang and we got this news early 13.02.2011 morning.
We kept on hearing so many things about his condition from different sources. And that really freaked us out! He is my only brother and could be the only boy I love more than anything else! I just can’t afford to lose anything! And he is also my very first best friend!
My mum and I rushed to Klang General Hospital where he was admitted! We were relieved only after saw him with our very own eyes! He had minor head injuries due to the impact and his veins connecting his thumb on left and right hands were damaged. The operation was scheduled on 14.02.2011. But we did not want to continue his treatment in Klang GH. Basically we had far too many “good” experiences through relatives or friends regarding the quality of treatment in Government hospitals! Putting all this in our mind, we asked them to transfer him to private hospitals. But we can’t get the approval of the Medical Officers! All of them were busy with their cases and were in and out Operation Theatre. And there were only few M.O’s to refer to! We were lost! Although we had everything to give him better treatment, just because of the hospitals terrible management we can’t transfer him to any hospitals. We kept on informing the other doctors and nurses to inform the M.O in charge and all they did was asked us to WAIT! We waited so long for the M.O’s to get their asses out of their O.T but they did not even meet us even after their operation! I was so frustrated.
No appetite to eat, no mood to talk and all of us were grieving inside! I was hiding my grieving and sadness behind my eyes just to give my mum the strength and the courage that he will be alright! And besides all this, my “ex-dad” was there too. It has been solid 7 years since I talked to him lastly. He broke all my dreams of a perfect family when he married another woman. He brought so many sadness and exhausting experiences in my life! And I had to face all these at a very young age! As young as 15! Every other teenagers of my age were having fun with their teen life while I was grieving in my own world! But I learnt a lot! To be tough, to be independent, to be mature and practical about life and also to not trust anyone so easily when it comes to love! Since then (may be until now) it had been very hard for me to give any man a place in my heart. What a past life! Every of my dark memories flooding back! But I was given no choice. We got to stand together as family! At least for my brother! Because there wasn’t much can be done by my mum nor me! May be there are some limitation of things that can be done by woman alone! Or maybe it just a fate that brought all of us together on the eve of Valentine’s Day. I wonder how my mum felt that time?
I was emotionally exhausted! But for the moment I’m just hoping that my brother will get well soon and hope his operation will be successful! I just need to be stronger than ever! Oh God, please give me everything that it takes to get through this phase!
