Here I am at the age of 23 years old, still wondering how many people do really knows me for who I am? How many people do really love and cares for me. All the relationship around me seems too tangible. As if it will slip away any time soon.
May be they have been using me as a ladder for them to get something from me. Or I’m just there as a gap filler in their life. And I got to know all this when I’m in midst of my life crisis. The experience or the feeling of being an unemployed person is the hardest thing one can live with. It is even worst when you have excelled in everything academically or in curriculum previously. It feels like this is the only failure - the whole unemployment thing- The people who were there around to cherish my victory were not here to share my only failure. I wonder what and where it went wrong.....
I’m building a wall around me now. It is just too painful to know what you have cherished all this while is vanishing slowly. I have to prepare myself to face the world alone. And now the only person I could ever trust and put a hope on is myself and only myself.
I know this is only a phase (bad phase I mean) that I have to go through for the moment. It will be gone soon and I will be back to my path to be a successful person. But the lesson I learned through this experience is just hard to digest. You are all alone by yourself. ~ I know I will get through everything~
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