The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be official language of the Euro rather than German which was other possibility.
As a part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and had accepted a five year phase-in-plan that would be known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.
In the third year, public akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of the silent “e”s in the language is disgraseful. And they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary”o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of letters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
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