Being Myself

I have been a sober for quite sometimes. It’s time for me to loosen up a bit and enjoy myself. Life has been a bit unfair for me especially in relationship. Not only in my love life but also in other relationship. I have lost faith in some of my friends and besties. I don’t know how I am going to manage it or overcome it. But the one thing i know and i need right now is time for myself. So buckle up Jay n rejoice the life u have.

I know it is somewhat hard for a person to buckle up from heart break and disappointments. But the more I spend my time on it the more I become depressed and the more I’m wasting my own time and energy. “You live only for once and once you miss this moment you won’t get it back”.  I’m very well informed about this fact. So I’m going to make a difference to my already dead life.

I try to trace back my source of happiness. Spend days and night to really learn about myself (it’s a worth the effort actually). I found my family is the main source of my happiness. I love being myself. And I only can be that without any boundaries when I’m with my family members. We have unique understandings of each other. It is such a small family my mum, sis, bro and me, we always complement each other very much.  And our relationship grew deeper and deeper with every incidence and events. I’m so happy about it.

My next happiness is through the bond I shared with my cousins. I love all of them very much. Too much affection for them. We grew up together. And when I mentioned cousin, all of them are very young to me. Indeed very very young from me. We shared the bond since we were kids. From reading stories to all sort of funny games you could ever think, we had did it before. The age is not a problem for us. Nowadays kids maturity is much more difference than last time. So I can mingle with them without any problems. And I decided that time that we not going to be cousins for the sake of name but true cousins whom connected through lots of love and affection. I was not sure about all this that time. But all the little effort that I made to keep us close with each other turn out to be very successful. Each of us knew that we are meant to be together.  And now I am having a lots fun with them. The only obstacle we had for all our plans last time is money. And since I’m working now, I’m sponsoring all the plans, literally. Hehe. And I’m enjoying doing that. The next thing we would really want to do is going to Genting Highland and have our own gala time. We really look towards it.

  (Picture of my cousins at my bro's 21 b'day party) - still some missing in action.

And the last but not least ( if i wanna talk abt all the things tht would make me happy, tht would be a never ending story ;)) thing that I do really wants to do is music. I had  passion for this since I was six or seven. Due to lack of facilities I can’t even think about it. That’s how all my passion for music just faded away. I was very sad. But now I have an opportunity to do it again. All by myself, with my own money and without any other obstacles. So I’m starting with instruments first. I want to learn guitar. Checked out few guitars, but haven’t crossed one that would make me fall for it. I want it to be perfect. Because it will definitely be something for me. And I’m very sure I will find it soon J

Hope that the directions I took will help me discover myself again and will give me a new hope and reason to live this life once again!

   ( one of my passion too : fashion ! me n my newly bought dress) :)